All by myself

Life has been good to me so far. Now that things have ended with fish once and for all, I honestly expected myself to be sinking into depression, crying my eyes out every night, but so far, none of these has been happening. I remembered the last time we took a time out and I was so depressed that I woke up with puffy eyes everyday, sometimes till the extent of triple eyelids(gross), hid in my room all day, had suicidal thoughts.. But now, I'm being so strong that even I surprise myself. Maybe its the fact that I've given way too much for this relationship and the fact that I've been hurt too deeply that I can give it up once and for all. Knowing the fact that I did him no wrong helps a lot too. I do shed a few tears at times but that was it. Last time, I planned my schedule according to his. If he wanted to see me, I would push off everything for him. I would wait for him to end work just to see him. But now, I dictate my life according to me. I do what I feel like doing. I do feel a bit too independent, but I'm starting to enjoy life :)

Someone asked me, what it would take for him to win me back. I wouldnt say nothing, but it would take a lot more than a few fancy dinners and gifts. I just feel like I've given too much and recieved so litle that he has got to do a lot to compensate me for the hurt. Knowing the big ego guy he is, that would never happen in a million years. But what the hell. His loss, not mine.

There is so much to life besides just fish. I've been missing out on the good things in life but I'm beginning to see it so clearly now. I love my life, and I wouldnt change it for the world :p For those out there struggling through a bitter relationship or dealing with a break-up, have faith in yourself and never stop loving yourself. Because the whole world can stop loving you, but you will still have yourself...